i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
