I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
