cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
