I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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