PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
