fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Even my vagina gasped.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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