All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
