Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
