Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
