I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
