Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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