I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
