And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what day is it and did you see me today?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
