Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
