drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
