i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
