yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
