Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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