Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
