I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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