shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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