i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
