I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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