My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
not ubering you a puppy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
