I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
