so explain again why im purple
no
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
