You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
