Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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