I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
