I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
