It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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