found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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