their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
