lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
