just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
