I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
