i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
