You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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