I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
