I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
