Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
