I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
