Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
