I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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