Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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