Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
