Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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