Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
