this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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