do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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