We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't deserve a penis
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
