How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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